Thinking of Thanking
by Tom Bendel, Head of School
On any day during the pandemic, we can probably come up with a number of things about which we are unhappy. The world puts challenge after challenge before us, testing our resilience, calling into question our strength, and undermining our reserves of hope. Worse, the steps we must take to mitigate the effects of the pandemic interrupt our normal human contact and create a patina of fear in our interactions with each other.
We have all gamely worked to adapt and to meet the needs we see. We have given and been asked to give again, only to have new demands continue to rise. In these times, it would be easy to give in to anger or frustration or to just give up. However, one thing we might give that will help is thanks.
At morning carpool, I try to greet every student by saying “Happy Tuesday” (on Tuesday, of course – mostly remembering what day it is and using the appropriate greeting). I began this as a gratitude practice many years ago to remind me as much as the children that there is much to be happy about on each day, even – or especially – school days.
Experts suggest that we would all benefit from practicing gratitude, which is particularly important in times of adversity. Importantly, intentional gratitude reminds us that even on difficult days, there is lots of good. Moreover, thankfulness reminds us that those good things are external to us – helping to break us free from self-focus and turning our attention to those around us. Sharing gratitude affirms the bonds between us, signaling and strengthening community norms. It increases our resilience, connects us with other people, and lifts others up. Gratitude builds and strengthens relationships because it shows us how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.
Just this morning, the most wonderful thing happened; several of the classes arrived with notes of thankfulness for members of the community. In these past weeks, I have had no moment that was more affirming than getting these notes and having an opportunity to say “thank you” back to the children. It was a much-needed reminder of the strength of our community and the importance of our relationships, and a real-world, real-time validation of the ways that gratitude sustains both.
Outside of carpool, I am surely less good at visibly acknowledging my gratitude for the day that we are given and the people who fill it, so I’d like to take this chance to say thank you. I am always grateful for:
- The reward of a career in education: the opportunity to work with and contribute to the overall development of young people.
- The energy and commitment of the faculty and staff to making school work in these demanding conditions.
- The grace and understanding showed by our families, especially as we have navigated this year’s uncharted waters.
- The evident joy of the children we see each day, which we get to share with them.
I invite you to take a moment to think about or write down what you are grateful for and to hold those special people, moments, and notions close to your heart.
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